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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

shotgun weddings and divorce

Before I get to the topic of marriage and divorce....

Let me sum up the last few days:  Several days ago I told my mom about my failed attempt at getting weight loss surgery.  She offered to pay for it and let me pay her back when I go to work.  Thrilling news!!!!!!  So I figured if we were self-pay, I might as well consider the gastric sleeve...which wasn't an option before because my insurance didn't cover it.  I called my bariatric office in Pittsburgh and they quoted their prices:  $16,500 for the band.  $27,000 for the sleeve.  Yikes.  But after my weekend research, I'd really fallen in love with the sleeve idea.  It's restrictive and decreases the amount of appetite hormones (ghrelin).  Since I feel so much of my problem is constant hunger, the idea of something to reduce my appetite really appealed to me.  Plus, it's maintenance free in that it doesn't require fills or adjustments.

I called around and found Dr. Chang who does the sleeve in Victoria, TX for an affordable price ($17,760).  My mom felt really good about that choice because it's only one hour from their house and my parents know of at least three people who've used him.  Naturally, that made my parents feel more comfortable.

The bad news?  Chang can only operate on people with a BMI of 35 or more because of hospital guidelines.  At first, off the top of my head, I figured that would be fine, that I'd only need to gain 10 pounds or so.  I thought, "No problem."  I didn't like the idea, but okay, it was doable.  Especially because we have a 10 day vacation planned in June.  Vacations almost always make me gain a few pounds unless I'm super careful and don't indulge at all.

But then I Googled and realized I'd need to get all the way back to 198 (from 175-180, I bounce up/down in that range).  UGH.  Feeling that was TOO MUCH to gain after all of my hard work, I just couldn't stand the thought of being that size---even for 2 months.  I mean, I'd have to stop working out to get up that high!  I feel so much better about myself at my current size, 14P.  Getting up to 200-ish pounds would put me back in an 18.  And I just hate myself at that weight.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.

Yesterday, I found a guy (Dr. Patel) in San Antonio who could do the sleeve at my current BMI.   He has nearly 100 great reviews on obesitytalk.com.  And for only $14,000----$3,760 less than Chang!  A win-win, right?

Not so fast.  My mom was already married to the idea of Dr. Chang.

And I was already married to the idea of the getting my first choice surgery (sleeve) and at my current BMI.

You know, it was a shot-gun wedding, though, for both of us.  We fell in love and got married within 24 hours of meeting our ideas.  It probably happened in Vegas.  But a marriage is a marriage, nonetheless.

Regardless---one of us needed to get a divorce.  Yes, the dreaded D word.

Problem is, we are both very loyal wives.

But.....I guess later in the afternoon she spoke to my dad on the phone (he's out of town right now) and he made her feel more comfortable with the logistics of the whole long distance surgery trip.  She was concerned that San Antonio is 3 hours away.  With my little boys being with me, that will be no small undertaking for my parents!  And I get that.  He suggested driving all five of us up to San Antonio for for the surgery.  They could get a hotel & stay with the kids.  I could stay at the hospital by myself (which is fine by me, it'll be a vacation, trust me).

Whew!  It was a whirlwind on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.  She's warming to the idea of Dr. Patel and I'm hoping she'll be ready to divorce Dr. Chang altogether soon.  He's a nice guy and all...but it wasn't the best match.


  1. This is a very funny, albeit serious, post! I really hope you all can come to an agreement soon, and you get your surgery. Best of luck to you! And good for you with not giving in to gaining all the weight back. I did have to gain five pounds (I'm an overachiever, so I gained 10) to qualify for my surgery, but it made me sick that I had to. And 10 is way different than 20+. It will all work out in the end!

  2. :)

    I can see it all working out-- your perseverance is paying off!

  3. I knew it would all work out!!!

    My mom paid for mine also---because insurance wouldn't----and somehow the money came in,in amazing ways, and I was able to pay her back within a year!

    Love the idea of taking your kids down with the grandparents. It will be a vacation for everyone.


  4. Yay, this makes me happy! :) I hope it all works out.

  5. OHHHHH LEE ANN, I am thrilled for you! God Bless mothers!

    Looking forward to being on your journey with you!