I took a class called Muscle Madness today. It's a strength training class.
My instructor was a character ripped straight from the cast of Jersey Shore. This girl has to be related to Snookie and J-Woww. She came complete with the tan and charming Juhsey accent. And she was wearing legwarmers!!
During some butt lifts she was counting, "12! Thut-teen. 14! Fit-teen!" (I can't even creatively spell how she pronounced 14).
It was fun. My butt is going to hurt tomorrow.
After I showered---yes, I showered at the gym! I finally realized it's the best place to shower when you have two hours of on-site childcare. The water is hot (unlike my house). It's quiet (unlike my house). And it's clean (unlike my house). A no brainer!
Anyway, after I showered and got dressed, I saw that the nutritionist from the bariatric office called. She left a message. I got all excited because, as you may remember, I've been waiting for them to call me back and let me know if they will resubmit my case with my correct starting BMI (39.3 vs 37).
"Lee Ann. This is Melissa,* the nutritionist. I have some options to discuss with you and go over. Call me."
So I phoned back. No answer. Left a message.
When she returned my call a few hours later she said that Dr. May* wanted me to come in and talk with her "in person" to discuss my options.
I said, "What are my options?"
Melissa* said, "Well, she's the doctor, you'll have to discuss that with her. She wants to meet you and go over your history and talk about your case."
Hmmph. I know Melissa* knows what they are!! She's holding out on me!!
So I made an appointment. The soonest I could be seen is......ANOTHER month.
My appointment is March 8.
I wonder what my options are. I have a whole month to stew over it. Fantasize is more like it.
I already have this fantasy that they'll offer to toss me in some Lap Band research study and give me surgery for free.
Another bizarre thought is... what would I do if they offered to throw me in some WLS study comparing Gastric Bypass, Lap Band, and The Sleeve. I think, "Would I do it, not knowing which one I'd get randomly assigned to?'
Yeah, I'm seriously losing my mind.
But, this meeting is a ray of sunshine. What is a month, really? It'll go by fast.
This is my chance to recruit this "diet" doctor, Dr. May,* (her name is actually the other month of the year that starts with the letter M). I didn't want to type it out in case she ever googles herself.
Anyway, I want Dr. May* on my side. I'm going to print out the 3 page letter I wrote to the insurance company a few days ago and take it with me. Not sure if I'll whip it out...but I'll take it with me.
So, I still have no idea what my options are. Do these people know what they are doing to me? They are driving me straight to a mental hospital.
Anybody have any guesses as to what my "options" are????
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.