Spin classes are intense. After each class I literally mop sweat off the floor with my towel. It's not like I'm going to the gym to take naps in the locker room. Although, now that I've thought of it, it's not a bad idea...
When I do the elliptical, I do the harder one that looks like a gazelle machine. And I push myself. I crank it up to level ten and require myself to run at least 5 miles in an hour. For some people, that's easy. For me, it's a challenge.
So what gives?
I ordered a monitor to measure my body fat %. Normal is 21-32%. Mine is 33.6%. Which is great considering in September of last year it was 46.7%.
My goal is 25% or less.
I wonder if being so close to "non-overweight" body fat % is what is making this so difficult.
And I'm still breastfeeding. I can't help but think that is playing a role in how stubbornly this fat is hanging on!!
I'm just scared to wean because it's the only thing that helps my chronic bladder pain....and my husband doesn't want more children. I have this horrible fear that I'll wean and the pain will come back full force (because it will). And then, the only way I know how to make it go away is to get pregnant and nurse another baby. I've had this disease (IC--interstitial cystitis) for 16 years and the only time I've felt "normal" is for the last 3.5 years. There's something magical about pregnancy and lactation. I tried EVERYTHING to control my pain. Narcotics. Electrical stimulation.
So, I'm scared to ruin a goood thing just to lose 20 pounds. And who knows if quitting BFing would even help the weight loss??
As frustrated as I am, I'm feeling pretty good about my body. I feel SO MUCH better about myself compared to last summer. But I would LOVE to lose at least 12 more pounds. Is that so much to ask?
In other news, my parents have split up. Oh, this isn't the first time....they've split so many times I can't even count. They are living apart yet again. We have a trip planned for October to go down to TX to see everyone. And now---OH WE JUST CAN'T WAIT. I thought I was visiting my hometown but now I'll be in Drama City walking on tight ropes and eggshells.
Despite less-than-amazing-weight-loss stats and family drama, I have a pretty damn good life and here's a list of all the awesome things coming up this month.
1). I have tickets to see Jackson Browne. I know, I know. You're jealous, aren't you?
2). My husband and I are going to an NFL game in a couple weeks. Before you get too jealous of this one, let me just say it's the Buffalo Bills. My husband grew up in San Diego, CA and for some reason has always been a huge Bills fan. In case you don't know, they have been on a terrible losing streak for the last few years (okay, a DECADE, possibly longer). But we are GOING by golly. My former neighbor is from Buffalo and she hooked us up with the name & number of a babysitter (that was the tricky part!).
3). Next week my 3 year old starts preschool. If I shed any tears on that day, it will NOT be because my sweet little boy is growing up. They will be tears of joy. And perhaps a few tears that it's only 2 half days a week instead of ALL FIVE.
4). This might not pan out, but my friend's husband shot her up with some expired Botox from the clinic he works at. She asked him if he could shoot me up next time another bottle expires and he said he would. But you know how men are....they forget. And I'm not one to pester him so......we'll see.
5). We are having a big backyard BBQ this weekend with all of our neighbors. It'll be fun.