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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

tales of 3

Three things this morning:

1.  My son turned 3.
2.  I gained three pounds.
3.  I'm working on my 3rd appeal (and not having much luck).

My son turned 3 on Feb. 28!

The Friday before his birthday we had some friends over to celebrate with pizza and cake.  He had a wonderful time and each time someone said, "Happy Birthday," he started singing the happy birthday song to them.  It was cute.

My husband sent several friends home with generous pizza and cake leftovers.  Not generous enough, apparently, because I have been eating like crap for the past week.

Easter candy.

Leftover cake.  OMG, the sugary frosting is just irresistible. 

I wasn't able to workout for about 10 days because both of my kids were sick with terrible coughs and on antibiotics---which made my little guy (now 10 months old!) very poopy and......well, my gym doesn't change diapers so that made the gym utterly pointless.

So!  On March 1, I got on the scale and realized I'd gained 3 pounds.


Got to the gym three times since then.  But that's it.

And I continued to eat candy but have still lost 1 pound (of the 3 I gained).


I think I forgot to update everyone on the very heated discussion I had with the PA at the bariatric office last week.  We were practically screaming at each other.  Finally she sputtered, "Lee Ann, we are on your side!"

Whatever.  It doesn't feel that way.  The whole reason I called was to request an official letter from her office stating my height and weight (the corrected version) so I would have it for my 3rd and final appeal to the insurance company.

She WOULD NOT agree to write it.  What the heck?

She told me to "wait to see Dr. May" so Dr. May can go over "my options" with me.  I asked her if she could tell me what my options were.  She could not.  Again, what the heck?  I think she knows!  She just won't say.

I'm totally frustrated and my willpower is completely waning.  I have not even been reading blogs for the past week.  I have stopped caring about this path I put myself on last summer.  I just feel this surgery (or any drastic intervention) isn't going to happen.....so I've resigned myself to....I don't know....failure.  ?

I've kinda given up.  For a few days I thought about trying to get surgery in Mexico, but my husband is not supportive.  Plus, it looks like my BMI isn't high enough anyway, so it seems pointless to argue with him.  So I just don't care.

I don't even know if I'll pursue this 3rd appeal---it seems pointless because I can't even round up the paperwork necessary to support my case because my bariatric office isn't helpful.

I did try calling a second bariatric office but they will not see me because my BMI is too low (less than 35) even though it was nearly 40 when I started this process.  I was hoping they'd let me transfer my records, etc, but they told me it doesn't work like that.  I'd have to "redo" the six month "diet" and since my BMI is less than 35 I'm no longer a candidate according to their office unless I agree to pay out of pocket from the start and their out-of-pocket price is higher than my original office by several thousand dollars....so nevermind.

Apathy is a dangerous thing, I realize, but whatever.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF------My appointment with Dr. May was scheduled for March 8 but I just found out it was CANCELED.  So annoying!  I had childcare lined up, etc.  They let me reschedule for March 15 at 8:30 am, but that's too early to get childcare so my husband had to switch his schedule around......etc etc.  But at least he was able to switch his shifts around, thank goodness for that!  Now I have to wait ANOTHER FREAKING WEEK.

Anyway.  That's my "update."  Maybe I'll have something better to report next week.

Sorry if I sound so down.  That's why I haven't come here.  I hate being "Debbie Downer."  But otherwise, my life is totally awesome.  That's why I'm sharing a couple birthday pics with you all.

On his actual birthday we took him to the Carnegie Science Center and he got to jump on the trampoline thing for the first time because he finally weighed enough.  :)


  1. This sucks the big one! I am so sorry it is not going as you would like, but please don't give up. Just be patient, keep doing what you were doing, and maybe something good will happen with the next appointment. You are continuously in my thoughts!

  2. I'd be pissed, irritated, and just plain mad too! And that is what we are hear for...so don't say you're sorry when you need to vent! VENT! I wish I had up lifting words but honestly when I am this irritated no words can actually help me! But we are all hear and listening and I wish you success. These people do not seem on your side. I can see no reason they put off telling you anything. It just doesn't seem like they are a team either. Good luck. Vent but then chin up. You are good at seeing the brighter side!

  3. Please don't give up!!! You are a trooper. You can fight this and win. I will send prayers up for you.

  4. OMG! I am so sorry about the insurance crap! Insurance companies suck. BIG TIME.

    Happy Birthday to your little man!

  5. I'm with Dawnya on this one. You can't give up. You're too much of a trooper to throw in the towel. Fight, baby. Fight for you LIFE...cuz...really...that's what you're fighting for. Never lose focus of that fact. :)

    *big hugs!*

  6. I'm so sorry you are down. You have every right to be. But we are all here for you no matter what, so don't hide. :) We can take it.

    Like everyone else said, don't give up. You have come so far!

  7. Don't give up! My little one is turning 3 next week and I am not letting the cake back into the house after his party at the gym. I have lost the will power that stops me from picking - I was just earnings sugary frosting off chocolate cake and pretzels. So hard!

  8. Happy birthday to the little one! My daughter turned 10 that day.

    I'm sorry you are struggling. I wish I had some good answers for you.

    They never weighed me in Mexico. They just asked me what I weighed. Just putting it out there - lol.

  9. Don;t give up, they say three times is a charm so I have my fingers crossed for you!

  10. The most important time to come here and blog is when you are down. We can always encourage and help and listen. What you are feeling is valid and anyone in your shoes would be discouraged. You have a choice - to keep going with surgery or stop ...and either choice won't be easy but I'll support you either way.

  11. *hugs* I have no good advice that someone hasn't already touched on. But we love ya, Lee Ann. I wish the people at your surgeon's office wouldn't have given you bullshit advice. I want to write a letter. Grr.