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Thursday, October 14, 2010

good news, bad news

Well the good news is my cholesterol is perfect.

The bad news is that I might be disqualified from getting lap band.  :(

My BMI was less than 40 when I started this process so I need two co-morbidities for my insurance to cover the costs of surgery.  I have high BP and high cholesterol.  Or so I thought!  I've always had high cholesterol but I recently had blood drawn.  When I checked my results on-line I saw that my cholesterol was 149.  Ugh!  I cannot ever recall my cholesterol being less than 200!  It's usually around 210.  WTF.  I hope this doesn't disqualify me.

I have a history of gestational diabetes so I'm hoping that will count in my favor.

I feel a little defeated.  If I'd only gained about 10 pounds before starting to lose weight, or made an appointment the second I hit 220, or if I'd only loaded up my pockets with lead.  The what if's are killing me!  Because then, I would have qualified automatically with a BMI of 40.  But it's too late for that now.

So I'm struggling with negative thoughts today.  On one hand, I feel like I'm doing great.  I've even wondered if I can or should do this without the band.  I had decided it was better to go ahead and get it.  Now I'm realizing that even if I don't qualify, I need to find a way to continue this lifestyle change without it.  I'm going to have to find some strength somewhere to get through it instead of throwing myself a pity party complete with cake and ice cream.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in ther GF. If you haven't been tested for diabetes, have them test it. If you have any suspicions of sleep apnea, test it.

    Maybe it is something you decide you can do on your own...and at the very worst, you can start this process all over again later...I've seen many Bander's do this. Your health isn't something you can give up on...ever.