Several things on my mind today:

1.  I've lost two followers.  Sniff, sniff.  What did I do?  Was it something I said?  I thought we had something good going.  Was I boring?  Was I whiny?  Did I bitch too much?  Was it the F word?  The mama drama?  Did I go off on too many tangents?  

2.  Spring is in the air!  Hooray, hooray.

3.  This morning I was outside chilling with my friend (she lives next door) while our kids played in the yard.  Her husband is a plastic surgeon resident and next year he'll finish his residency.  She mentioned that he could do a tummy tuck for free after he finishes his residency next June (2012).  I'd just have to pay the OR fees, etc.  Basically, he wouldn't charge me his surgeon fees.  Sweet!  I wonder if my husband could do the anesthesia.  Then it'd be even cheaper.  :)

So, now I can't complain that nothing ever goes my way!!!  I do wonder, however, if my sweet friend ran this idea by her husband first or if she just volunteered him without consent!!!  LOL.  Perhaps I should volunteer my husband's services for free one day.  A barter and trade kinda deal.  :)  I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Really, I just want a tummy tuck when I'm done having babies AND after I lose another 30 pounds.  We might want one more child.  Actually I do want one more, but there are days when I question my sanity for even considering it.  My husband isn't sure if he wants a third or not.......

But I definitely want a tummy tuck someday.......and perhaps a breast reduction but that depends on whether I have a third child or not.  If we decide to have a third---I'll quit breastfeeding & get them reduced.  Then have one more baby.  If I don't have another baby, I'm just going to keep BFing and never bother with getting them reduced because lactation is the only thing I've found that controls my bladder pain.

4.  OH!  And, by the way---thanks for the suggestions regarding IC & possible birth control, etc.  Yes, I have tried staying on the pill continuously and skipping periods and that did help a *little* bit.  But there is something magical about lactation.  My OB said that pregnancy and lactation blunts your immune system so that your body doesn't reject your baby.  He believes that IC is an autoimmune disorder.....Therefore----he thinks the reason lactation is so beneficial to me is because my immune system is suppressed and my body is not attacking itself like it normally does.  If that makes sense.

5.  Hmmm, well, it seems like I had a lot more to say but I have the attention span of a gnat.

6.  Yes, I know what it was!  I'm trying to win the LOTTERY.  Yes friends, so keep your fingers crossed.  I will not win MONEY, mind you----it's not that kind of lottery.  All I want is a preschool slot for my son.  There aren't enough slots for everyone----so you have to be LUCKY and win.  And then he can go to preschool and I will have 6 hours---SIX HOURS---with just me and the little guy---who takes naps.  Do you know what that means?  That means I will be able to read and blog more.

7.  I'm thinking about applying for a job next school year with the school district.  The company I used to work for before used to have a contract with this school district----which means they probably paid ridiculous amounts of money for each therapist on a per hour basis.  Which means they would probably hire anyone who walks through the door just so they can avoid paying those high contract fees.  Which means that perhaps they'd be willing to hire me---even if I only want to work one or two days a week.

I would love to work just a little bit.  I miss working.  :)

Gotta run!  Little guy is stirring.

of course

Yesterday evening I went to pick up my new drug that got prescribed yesterday.

Not covered by my insurance.

Well, of course it's not!  OF COURSE.  What was I thinking, assuming that just because my doctor found it appropriate, the insurance company would agree?

So I didn't buy it.  $470 for a once month supply!  Umm, no.  For that I could just get surgery.  What the heck?

This morning I emailed my doctor to see if she could write a letter to the insurance company requesting they cover the drug.  When I lived in Denver a doctor did that for me to cover a medicine for my bladder issues and it worked.  So who knows.

tales of 3

Three things this morning:

1.  My son turned 3.
2.  I gained three pounds.
3.  I'm working on my 3rd appeal (and not having much luck).

My son turned 3 on Feb. 28!

The Friday before his birthday we had some friends over to celebrate with pizza and cake.  He had a wonderful time and each time someone said, "Happy Birthday," he started singing the happy birthday song to them.  It was cute.

My husband sent several friends home with generous pizza and cake leftovers.  Not generous enough, apparently, because I have been eating like crap for the past week.

Easter candy.

Leftover cake.  OMG, the sugary frosting is just irresistible. 

I wasn't able to workout for about 10 days because both of my kids were sick with terrible coughs and on antibiotics---which made my little guy (now 10 months old!) very poopy and......well, my gym doesn't change diapers so that made the gym utterly pointless.

So!  On March 1, I got on the scale and realized I'd gained 3 pounds.

Crap.

Got to the gym three times since then.  But that's it.

And I continued to eat candy but have still lost 1 pound (of the 3 I gained).

Blah.

I think I forgot to update everyone on the very heated discussion I had with the PA at the bariatric office last week.  We were practically screaming at each other.  Finally she sputtered, "Lee Ann, we are on your side!"

Whatever.  It doesn't feel that way.  The whole reason I called was to request an official letter from her office stating my height and weight (the corrected version) so I would have it for my 3rd and final appeal to the insurance company.

She WOULD NOT agree to write it.  What the heck?

She told me to "wait to see Dr. May" so Dr. May can go over "my options" with me.  I asked her if she could tell me what my options were.  She could not.  Again, what the heck?  I think she knows!  She just won't say.

I'm totally frustrated and my willpower is completely waning.  I have not even been reading blogs for the past week.  I have stopped caring about this path I put myself on last summer.  I just feel this surgery (or any drastic intervention) isn't going to happen.....so I've resigned myself to....I don't know....failure.  ?

I've kinda given up.  For a few days I thought about trying to get surgery in Mexico, but my husband is not supportive.  Plus, it looks like my BMI isn't high enough anyway, so it seems pointless to argue with him.  So I just don't care.

I don't even know if I'll pursue this 3rd appeal---it seems pointless because I can't even round up the paperwork necessary to support my case because my bariatric office isn't helpful.

I did try calling a second bariatric office but they will not see me because my BMI is too low (less than 35) even though it was nearly 40 when I started this process.  I was hoping they'd let me transfer my records, etc, but they told me it doesn't work like that.  I'd have to "redo" the six month "diet" and since my BMI is less than 35 I'm no longer a candidate according to their office unless I agree to pay out of pocket from the start and their out-of-pocket price is higher than my original office by several thousand dollars....so nevermind.

Apathy is a dangerous thing, I realize, but whatever.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF------My appointment with Dr. May was scheduled for March 8 but I just found out it was CANCELED.  So annoying!  I had childcare lined up, etc.  They let me reschedule for March 15 at 8:30 am, but that's too early to get childcare so my husband had to switch his schedule around......etc etc.  But at least he was able to switch his shifts around, thank goodness for that!  Now I have to wait ANOTHER FREAKING WEEK.

Anyway.  That's my "update."  Maybe I'll have something better to report next week.

Sorry if I sound so down.  That's why I haven't come here.  I hate being "Debbie Downer."  But otherwise, my life is totally awesome.  That's why I'm sharing a couple birthday pics with you all.

On his actual birthday we took him to the Carnegie Science Center and he got to jump on the trampoline thing for the first time because he finally weighed enough.  :)