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Friday, July 30, 2010

very first appointment

So my very first appointment at the Bariatric Center at Magee Womens Hospital is on August 12, 2010.

The lady over the phone told me to start writing down everything I eat and to bring it with me.  They will give me another food journal at this appointment and they'll weigh me.

It's my understanding that six months after August 12, I'll be eligible for Lap Band surgery so long as I've complied with the diet.  I get the idea that the diet is an effort to prove my weight loss commitment to the insurance company so they'll be willing to pay for the procedure.

So....that means I'll hopefully be eligible for surgery in February 2011 around my 34th birthday.  :)  That would be an awesome present.

An even more awesome present will be feeling (& looking!) fabulous at 35.

ouch! my feelings need a band-aid.

A few weeks ago I started looking into Lap Band surgery.

Over Christmas 2009, my husband, son, and I were celebrating the holidays with his family in Colorado.  We were setting up our Wii characters---you know, selecting hair color & style, eye color, outfits (etc!) to compose your "mini-me."

Blonde hair?  Check!  Hazel eyes?  Check.  Long lustrous girlie eyelashes?  Check.  Cute outfit?  Mmm...it's not real life, but I did the best I could....

Then my five year old niece chimed in, "You need to make it bigger because you're big."

[insert the sound of a record scratching!]

Ouch.

I was actually 21 weeks pregnant with our second child.

But still.

F*ck.

And for the record, I'll be damned if I have to bowl with a fat Wii character.  Being fat in real life is depressing enough.  I think I'll let my Wii character live in Fantasy Land.

And if that didn't hurt bad enough....

Fast forward a few months.  Our son was born on May 1, 2010 and my husband's family came out to visit in June.  I was sitting on the couch and my niece (the same one!) said, "How come your neck hangs down like that?"

Ummm, I believe she was referring to my double chin.

That's it.  I'm not pregnant anymore.  I've got no excuse.

These extra pounds must go before my own two sons can say something so hurtful about my weight.  Right now they are innocent and love me for me.  They don't see my size.  Eventually though, they will. The thought of them pointing out my size crushes me.

What was your 'that's it' moment?